Independent Online: Beware of exploding microwaved eggs

Update: Terrorists nabbed after Feds alerted to suspicious egg purchases.

Lititz, PA— Muhammad Atef and Saif Al-Adel were arrested this morning in connection with a new plot to place eggs in microwaves across the United States. Atef divulged the plot shortly after the two were captured near the Sauder’s Eggs warehouses in Lititz, Pennsylvania. Sauder’s employees tipped the FBI soon after the Atef and Al-Adel placed a request for ‘roughly 24 million’ cartons of eggs. “We are one of the largest poultry producers in Pennsylvania,” said Paul Sauders, President, “but that’s just crazy… I mean 24 million eggs? Not here.” The two reportedly arrived with a large truck and engaged in suspicious activity while visiting the egg production facilities “They kept asking us if we had a microwave oven,” said Sauder’s employee Carol Shields, “…they wanted that oven as a condition of purchase.. we were supposed to put an egg on high in the microwave for five to fifteen minutes because they wanted to see what our eggs did.” FBI analysts have indicated that the egg plan may indicate desperation on the part of terrorist networks such as Al Quaeda. “Both of these men are wanted in connection with the [1998] US Embassy bombings,” said one source, “ Now they’ve been reduced to eggs and microwaves.. we think that things are getting a little rough over at Al Quaeda headquarters.” In related news, Saddam Hussein divulged new information regarding his weapons programs after being forced to sit through several recent college presentations by members of the Weather Underground.

- posted by JB @ 6:34 AM