Washington Post: McDonald's Executive James Cantalupo Dies

Update: New McDonald’s Boss Calls for Commission Meeting

Oak Brook, Il—Insiders report that Charlie Bell, new Boss of the McDonald’s family, has called for a commission meeting that could involve up to sixteen fast food families across America. Speaking on condition of anonymity, one source indicated that “It is a terrible thing that Mr. Canatlupo passed away like this but Charlie... Charlie has some new visions for the family…There are problems to address and he’s been pushing hard, for a long time, to address them.” Reported problems include competition from bakery gruppos such as Au Bon Pain and Starbucks and reported wars between the heads of the Dunkin Doughnuts and Krispy Kreme families. “What upsets us most of all,” said the source, “is this heat we’ve been getting.. so we sell a burger without the bun.. so what? So we try out one of those vegetable burgers.. so what? The other families are protesting.. Mr. Paull [Matthew H. Paull-- CFO] ended up with half a double cheeseburger in his bed...there’ve been drive by fryings… we think maybe it’s the kids, new account capos.. but its gonna stop.” He added “These are big things…nobody wants to get greased over this.”

- posted by JB @ 6:42 AM