Seattle Times: US shift on salmon could cut protection

Update: Nemo, sidewalk mural of whale counted as salmon.

Washington, DC— Insiders report that a new salmon policy, due to be released by the National Marine Fisheries Service in June, will attempt to count the Pixar character Nemo, ‘tasteful’ whale murals, brass salmon sculptures and, possibly, ‘selected bumper-stickers’ as wild salmon. The revised definition may lead to increased wild salmon counts and eventual delisting as a protected species under the EPA’s Endangered Species Act. Speaking on behalf of the Fisheries Service, Bob Lohn, NMFS regional director, asserted that “Salmon are really a concept that has both urban and rural dimensions... We feel that the older, limited definition of salmon does not properly reflect salmon’s social impact. If we are going to work to preserve wild salmon for hikers and environmentalists then we should work to preserve all forms of salmon.” The move sparked sharp protest from environmental groups including the Sierra Club, Trout Unlimited, EarthJustice, and Ocean Voice International. Jeff Curtis, western conservation director for Trout Unlimited, stated “This is just nuts, wait.. I think I’ll draw a picture… that’s one salmon, now two salmon.. hold on...” Shown Curtis’ drawings, Lohn agreed: “Those are some fine salmon, except for this one, which looks more like a bad pancake or maybe a Spock bobble-head doll.” Lohn then pulled out a clipboard and counted the salmon as he made ticks on a piece of paper.
- posted by JB @ 8:30 AM