Reuters: N.Korea's Kim Says to Be Patient, Flexible in Talks

Update: Kim Jong-il enlists Richard Simmons, develops new “Workout Video of the People.”

Beijing— During a meeting with China’s President, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il unveiled his “Workout Video of the People,” the result of a two-year collaboration between the North Korean dictator and the American fitness guru. The announcement sparked drives for similar collaborations across several countries including Uzbekistan, Zimbabwe, Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Cuba, each of whom placed scouts at major aerobics hotspots across the United States and Europe. “Presently, we are scouting Kathy Smith,” stated Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak, “Fidel’s still off the top shelf—we planted an agent in Havana a few years back and he’s been guiding the scouting process. We think he’s going to try for Maura Jasper and that’s gonna’ cost him media pull outside the Boston / New York corridor.” Mubarak later admitted that Egypt was unlikely to beat North Korea’s victory with Simmons. “It’s an arms race and we are losing right now… I don’t even want to think about China’s play in this market.” Deflecting reporters who questioned him on the topic, President Hu Jintao indicated that China has not made any decisions but has considered “…leaning toward specialty videos rather than aerobics, maybe Coreboards or Bowflex or something.”

- posted by JB @ 6:14 AM