Detroit Free Press: Yankees mystified by their failure to hit

Update: Yoda removed from Yankees Stadium, faces Disciplinary Hearing for game interference

New York, NY— Yankees Stadium Officials confirmed Yoda’s removal from Yankees stadium Sunday afternoon following the Yankees loss to the Boston Red Sox. Jerry Laveroni, director of Yankee team security indicated that stadium officials surrounded the elderly Jedi, who had apparently traveled through time from a point “far, far away” in an attempt to assist the Red Sox. Said Laverioni, “We believe that he may have gotten wind of Larry Lucchino’s description of the Yankees as ‘The Evil Empire’ and may have, well, misinterpreted it a bit.” Stadium officials indicated that Yoda may have used a mysterious force to add weight to the bats of Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams while possibly working to interfere with fielding. “He may have been in the stands for a few days and certainly influenced the Yankees loss last Friday [23 April].” stated one official. Yoda, identified by other fans prior to his removal, agreed to go quietly after stadium officials confronted him with Uri Geller who reportedly asked Yoda for a spoon. Yoda indicated that he sensed ‘much fear’ in Geller and the security team but otherwise said little on his exit from the ballpark. His hearing is scheduled for Thursday. In related news, an x-wing fighter landed on beachfront property near the Mahou Riviera section of Malibu yesterday, reportedly “really pissing off Barbara Streisand.”

- posted by JB @ 6:09 AM